Hope to live,
Live to die.
Love to stay,
And stay to cry.
Sigh your last,
But never pretend,
To hope that hope,
To live again.
I remember.I remember the last time I saw you.
You lay alone on the vast hotel bed with a tube snaked around your head pumping oxygen through your nose. The machine made a sound like the ocean: smooth and even. You looked like pile of bones with skin attached and a tumor in the middle. I stood between your sister, sleeping peacefully on the couch, and you in the grand bed which I had lain in beside you just five minutes before. I stared, so wanting to walk over and shake you awake to say goodbye. It's the last time I'll ever see you. But you were so weak, and you could barely sit upright the night before. I wanted to let you enjoy your dreams while you could. I wondered if you would wake later that day and think, She left without a word.
Because that's what I was thinking.
I felt my face twist into pain. Eyebrows curled upward, lips pouting. An expression soon to become familiar on my face. I wondered if your sister was awake. I didn't want to sound ridiculous, talking to a sleeping girl,
Words Never SpokenWe all stood up to say goodbye to Anna Lee. As we did, I finally saw my chance to break away and see you. I looked toward the front of the room. You lay there, your face above the lip of the white casket. Pale and thin, but just as I had last seen you. My throat was tight. I didn't want to talk anymore with your other friends who I had just met a few weeks ago. You were the one I came to see. So as they were all turned, I walked up behind the old couple in front of you. They moved away after a moment and I got a clear view of you.
You looked like you were only sleeping. Last year, you were so plump and full of life, but laying here, your face was thin, cheekbones sticking out, eyes sunken, and your hands... Your hands were at just the wrong angle. There were bruises on your fingers. Did you notice? Where did you get those? I wanted to touch you. I wanted to talk to you. You looked as if you were about to sit up and say, "Boo!" because that's exactly what you would do. I couldn't believ
A new friend? Amateur..."Alright then, I'm sticking to you like glue!" The idiot said.
Are you wondering what just happened? Let me explain.
I was lounging on a dark night in the local park, where there were few people. It was about 2:47 or so, and I was enjoying the breeze. But then I heard footsteps. I thought about going limp and pretending I was asleep, but, for some reason, I lifted up my head. I was actually hoping to see a beautiful young lady who might be running from a sex offender, and maybe I'd save her and have a snack.
What I saw was not running from a sex offender, it was not a lady, and it was definitely not beautiful. My neck settled into a normal position, and I found myself nose-to-nose with a stupid-looking blond haired boy. His hair was obviously bleached -- and badly done at that. His eyes were wide and quizzical, shining with wonder. The worst part was the moment he opened his mouth.
"Are you a vampire?" He asked hesitantly. There was a long silence between us. Why not just say it?
Peacemaker My name is Peacemaker. I have no gender, and I have no race. I do not take a democrat or republican side of politics, and I look at things from every angle I can. My history is lost, and my future is unpredicted.
Many people come to me every day and ask for help. They all have problems they need assistance to take on. I give them the advice they seek, and they are on their way. Many of these people called me wise. A few have told me I was "perfect" or "flawless".
That is not true.
If I have one flaw, it is that I cannot take my own advice. If a friend and I argue, the terrible, hard reality comes crashing into me like a raving river.
The question is: what happens when I, the Peacemaker, can no longer make peace?
InamimateI find more love in inanimate objects than in living people.
It's a strange feeling.
It's almost sad.
The pajama top that I took off wrapped it's arms around me, as if it were hugging me and keeping me warm.
The teddy bear I hug is leaning against my chest, as if it were saying to me, "I need you."
The radio at my side is softly playing me my favorite songs, as if it were singing a lullaby to me.
Sometimes it's not enough.
Because after a while, the pajama top is just a shirt.
Because after a while, the teddy bear is just a doll.
Because after a while, the radio is just a device to be controlled.
Because after a while, you need a real voice.
And somewhere in the world, someone will make it all better without doing a thing.
Even though, I find more love in inanimate objects than in real people.
Because I am not that familiar with the latter.
I'll be...I'll be green, I'll be blue,
I'll be anything just to get to talk to you.
I'll be high, I'll be low,
I just wanna know
How you feel, and everything else.
I'll be goth, I'll be prep
If I just take a step
to being closer to you.
All I want...
Most people can...Most people can sing the ABCs.
Few can sing an Opera.
Most people can dance the Hokey Pokey.
Few can dance the Nutcracker Ballet.
Most people can read off a few lines.
Few people can make you believe their actually Romeo or Juliet.
Most people can aim a camera.
Few can capture the emotion and feeling.
Most people can draw a stick figure.
Few people can actually draw a person.
Most people can draw a triangle.
Few people can really paint a mountain.
Most people can do this.
You can do more.
Rainbow SongListen to him singing the song to me.
Listen to him singing --
Listen to beauty and love as he sings,
Yes, listen to him...
Look at me listening to his love song.
Look at me breaking his frail heart.
Love is a sensitive thing from the start.
Yes, look at me.
This is so nice.
So majestic and I'm
His heart shatters
In my hands.
Soak my life again.
Listen to him singing the song to me.
Listen to him singing --
Listen to beauty and love as he sings,
Yes, listen to him...
?.:-LOVE-:.?Love is like a jacket.
When it catches your eye, you try it on, and look for the right size.
You take it home and wear it and show it off.
It covers you and keeps you warm.
For a while it really interests you, and you pay a lot of attention to it.
But after a while, it doesn't interest you as much, but it's a part of your daily life.
Soon, it wears out, and doesn't always keep you warm in strong winds.
It thins and grows holes.
Sometimes, the holes are convenient.
Sometimes, you patch it up.
Sometimes, it just gapes.
Eventually, you sell it, or throw it away.
Sooner or later, you get a new jacket.
You forget about that old jacket.
And that's the end of the jacket.
And that's the end of love.
Simdi Bir Yerlerde
"Gün günden odamın şeklini alıyorum"
ŞİMDİ BİR YERLERDE
Şimdi bir yerlerde topraklara su döküyor kadınlar
Şimdi bir yerlerde ekinler tohumlanıyor
Sazlıkların orman orman diplerinde karıncalar sevişiyor
Kumsallarda toprağa değiyor ay
Güneşin hatırasına sarılıyor
Çoban yıldızı gözlerini yumuyor
Şimdi bir yerlerde deniz kokuyor
Kimsesiz köpekler ayaklarını denize sokuyor
Mandıralarda peynire, yoğurda ölüyor inekler
Çeltikler, sulak ama yalnız güneş ülkesi
Derinlerinde tane tane inciler
Derinlerinde bir tok toprak
Çeltiklere varamayan sular
Doyuruyor karpuzları, buğdayları, günebakanları
Kovana dolar gibi
Şehirlere doluşmuş et et kalabalıkları
swan diveserpent eyes, you stair-step the ladder of my spine
with parched lips and whispered treasures,
weaving an enchantment measured
deep like waves across sweat-slicked skin,
your breath a gasping, breaking me in
with a grin, you let your knuckles do the talking,
walking promises like dogs pulling at the leash
avoiding the corner fire hydrants
because that's where the town meets
to swap gossip like spit
and you can't stand to let your secrets slip
so they pool instead at the corners
of your poison-chapped lips
when i leave for calmer waters and wider lanes,
catch your heart as it drops,
jot your number on scrap paper,
drop my name in the right circle and maybe they'll go 'round
telling you i risked it all to find myself,
a paralyzed swan diving from high spaces
on a dare to feel everything except broken...
but more likely they'll scoot out their chairs,
flip you the bird, and leave without saying anything
The Stalker's PathYou allowed my presence
To be your malady
So fragile in essence
The last of the letters
Has finally been sent
No newspaper cuttings
Just these feelings to vent
Alone in my abode
At the dining room table
I relinquish romance
To the realms of fable
The time of no reply
Holds sway over my life
Fork for food, spoon for sauce
Redundant is my knife
Have you forgot my name
Watch from your widow's walk
As you drench me in shame
Out to sea, out of sight
You cast my memory
I'll run aground on the shores
Of your inequity
the reoccurring kindawake
I gasp and
you smile and
kiss my eyes
and kiss my eyes
awake I gasp
and kiss my eyes
and I awake.
VIRTUAL INSANITYReality your concept,
of cause and effect
Common to your belief,
of order and disorder
A world of regret,
of chaos and introspection
day ninei. starting over
i'm deserting bitterness and battle plans
in favour of yeats, plath, and fitzgerald;
i'm going to put myself together again.
you nodded in what i suppose was approval,
but offered no encouragement except for
a small and tender smile; quickly gone.
you've little to say to me these days,
although we always do our best.
we sat silent in the park;
winter at a chilly height,
while the last words of
an unsatisfying latte
( soy, extra shot ) lay
heavy and uncomfortable
with malt biscuits in
my stomach, and with
the knowledge that,
i'll be right back
where i started.
there are some quiet nights when it
almost feels as if i've been placed
on the wrong side of daylight;
day eighti. let down your guard
i must admit;
there is nothing at all
that i find more becoming
than a subconscious smile,
than a door into your thoughts,
than a heart free of armour.
ii. like what i like
i seek a symphony-saturated soul;
rasied upon nocturne lullabies
i search in every ( suspended )
harmony for someone who's
i seek a writer, reader, poet;
who bleeds in melifluous metaphor
and i'll fall so quickly for the
wordsmith who crafts his stanzas
with an infinity of care
love me deeply, hold me;
make me believe there's
nothing else in the world.
let that be enough.
Sea-Salt Ice Cream Recipe
Sea-Salt Ice Cream
Wire whisk or fork
Medium sized saucepan
Medium sized bowl
1 cup measure
1 teaspoon measure
Ice-cream maker or ice-pop molds or a cooler of liquid nitrogen (optional)
1 heart (optional get it)
1 cup milk
1 cup sugar
1 cup heavy cream
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
blue and green food coloring (optional)
1. Re-arrange the letters of your name and add an X somewhere.
2. Crack 2 eggs into the bowl and whisk well for a few minutes. A wire whisk works best but a fork can do in a pinch.
3. Add the cup of sugar into the eggs and continue to whisk well until creamy.
4. Heat the milk in the saucepan over medium heat until warmish hot while constantly stirring with the wooden spoon (do not use a metal spoon it will scratch your pot and make the milk burn easier). The milk should be right before boiling, but do not
The conductor lifts her hands
I lift my horn
She gives the count in . . .
I can feel my fingers flow
Over the keys with ease
I can feel the music flowing through me
The notes soaring above my head
I hear the others around me
Our sound is as one
You can sense the feeling
Each player giving their all
As I play I feel the energy
The more I play the more my heart rises
The feeling of my soul
Pouring out with every note
No other sound is more beautiful
No other feeling can compare
Every note tells the audience
"I love to play"
I sense the climax is coming
I build up my energy inside
I prepare my mind
Here it comes
I feel my heart soar through it
Every sound warms my soul
And then the last note
Maybe not to them but to me
Music is perfect
Perfect in my eyes
The conductor lowers her hands
My instrument comes down
It is done
A sigh of relief
A tear of joy
A smile of satisfaction
And . . .
The feeling of complete happiness
That is music